Happy Birthday Tupac - Love and Hate but always passion

Here is a poem from Nikki Giovanni

All Eyes on You

as I tossed and turned unable to achieve sleep unable to control

anxiety unable to comprehend why
2Pac is not with us
if those who lived by the sword died by the sword

there would be no
white men on earth
if those who lived on hatred died on hatred there would be no KKK
if those who lived by lies died by lies there would be nobody on wall
street in executive suites in academic offices instructing the young
don’t tell me he got what he deserved   he deserved a chariot and
the accolades of a grateful people
he deserved his life
it is as clear as a mountain stream as defining as a lightning strike
as terrifying as sun to vampires
2Pac told the truth
there were those who called it dirty   gansta rap inciting there were
those who never wanted to be   angry at the conditions but angry
at the messenger who report:  your kitchen has roaches your toilet
is overflowing your basement has so much water the rats are in the
living room
your house is in disorder
and 2Pac told you about it
what a beautiful boy graceful carriage melodic voice sharp wit intellectual
breadth what a beautiful boy to lose
not me   never me   I do not believe east coast west coast   I saw
them murder Emmett Till I saw them murder Malcolm X   I saw
them murder Martin Luther King   I witnessed them shooting
Rap Brown I saw them beat LeRoi Jones   I saw them fill their jails
I see them burning churches   not me   never me   I do not believe
this is some sort of mouth action   this is some sort of political
action and they picked well   they picked the brightest freshest
fruit from the tallest tree   what a beautiful boy
but he will not go away   as Malcolm did not go away   as Emmett
Till did not go away   your shooting him will not take him from us
his spirit will fill our hearts   his courage will strengthen us for the
challenge   his truth will straighten our backbones
you know, Socrates had a mother   she too watched her son drink
hemlock   she too asked why   but Socrates stood firm and would
not lie to save himself   2Pac has a mother   the lovely Afeni had
to bury her son   it is not right
it is not right this young warrior is cut down   it is not right for
the old to bury the young   it is not right
this generation mourns 2Pac as my generation mourned Till as we
all mourn Malcolm   this wonderful young warrior
Sonia Sanchez said when she learned of his passing she walked all day
walking the beautiful warrior home to our ancestors I just cried as all
mothers cry for the beautiful boy who said he and Mike Tyson would
never be allowed to be free at the same time who told the truth about
them and who told the truth about us who is our beautiful warrior
there are those who wanted to make him the problem   who wanted
to believe if they silenced 2Pac all would be quiet on the ghetto
front there are those who testified that the problem wasn’t the conditions
but the people talking about them
they took away band   so the boys started scratching they took away
gym   so the boys started break dancing the boys started rapping
cause they gave them the guns and the drugs but not the schools and
libraries
what a beautiful boy to lose
and we mourn 2Pac Shakur and we reach out to his mother and we
hug ourselves in sadness and shame
and we are compelled to ask:
R U Happy, Mz Tucker?  2Pac is gone

R U Happy?vrburton.edublogs.org/2010/03/08/all-eyes-on-you-by-nikki-giovanni/ot go away   your shooting him will not take him from us
his spirit will fill our hearts   his courage will strengthen us for the
challenge   his truth will straighten our backbones
you know, Socrates had a mother   she too watched her son drink
hemlock   she too asked why   but Socrates stood firm and would
not lie to save himself   2Pac has a mother   the lovely Afeni had
to bury her son   it is not right
it is not right this young warrior is cut down   it is not right for
the old to bury the young   it is not right
this generation mourns 2Pac as my generation mourned Till as we
all mourn Malcolm   this wonderful young warrior
Sonia Sanchez said when she learned of his passing she walked all day
walking the beautiful warrior home to our ancestors I just cried as all
mothers cry for the beautiful boy who said he and Mike Tyson would
never be allowed to be free at the same time who told the truth about
them and who told the truth about us who is our beautiful warrior
there are those who wanted to make him the problem   who wanted
to believe if they silenced 2Pac all would be quiet on the ghetto
front there are those who testified that the problem wasn't the conditions
but the people talking about them
they took away band   so the boys started scratching they took away
gym   so the boys started break dancing the boys started rapping
cause they gave them the guns and the drugs but not the schools and
libraries
what a beautiful boy to lose
and we mourn 2Pac Shakur and we reach out to his mother and we
hug ourselves in sadness and shame
and we are compelled to ask:
R U Happy, Mz Tucker?  2Pac is gone
R U Happy?

Today I will look for a way to give a gift

I see you
I hear you and
You matter

I will find a way to give this gift to someone today will you join me?

Baseball - Where my little boy is becoming a Man

I am struck by the power of being passionately connected in life.  As a parent getting through to my son and I mean really having his attention is such an important part of passing along my values and helping him honor his strong spirit and mind.

My son is passionately attached to baseball...all things baseball.  I had the opportunity to watch his little heart break at the plate over and over again last year.  After weeks and months we took slurpees to the field and had a chat.  He had started displaying a side of himself never seen before.  Nasty defiant and just below the surface self hate.  While trying desperately to get through I saw in his little blue eyes his broken heart.

In his then 10 years most every thing he can remember about the game supported that he was good and I mean really good.  He was a dependable and serious player.  Here he was split in two by his true love.  I was so lucky to be present when I saw his heart.  I finally got it...he was passionately attached to this game and he sees himself through this game.  This was the space where he will learn how he moves in the world and what he is about.

So I did what ever self respecting parent should do...I pounced!  This was the hook, this was where I could do my work.  The important work of keeping the messages simple.  You are continuously choosing who and how you honor the good energy in yourself and the world.  Always choosing...I then watched him make some great choices and honored the game and honored his love even though it was no longer a perfect love affair.

I miss My Lover

The Lover

I toil in the pain and passions of my daily practices to be worthy of the Lover.

The man fully seated in his masculine power and feminine connection; easily flowing from tender to raw opening the possibility of true surrender

He sees me and I see him

The view so bright; the warmth and light cannot be contained

The substance is clear

Undeniable power and intention

The Lover reaches into my depths

Drawing the passion

The sadness

The desire

The hope

The potential

He soaks it in, contains the mass, clearing away the noise.

The exchange begins.

True and pure communication more powerful than words pushed and pulled together.

With a quickened pulse and full lips the chemistry spikes.

The complex attachments to past and future create vibrant colors.  Love and acceptance create texture.  The heat of desire pulls color and texture together revealing the full portrait of lust.

Great love is made

Satisfying slumber flows over the now blank canvas which is my soul.  Serenity is upon us. 

We take pause.

We part:  each with our piece of the wholeness born.

But soon the restlessness will return.

I lay in wait; ready for the moment my lover, the traveler, passes through me again.

Heal ourselves, our families, neighborhoods, city, state, nation, world?

I came upon a passage I wanted to share.  A book I enjoy picking up and reading from nearly any point.  The Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell.  In this part he is quoting the writing of his mother.  I have made a few edits to apply this more broadly:

I complained to God in so many words: "Here I was, the wounded representative of the __ in our struggle to be accounted free and equal with the dominating __!" And God was amused; my prayer did not ring true with Him.  I would try again.  And then God said, "Have you not done the same thing? Remember this one and that one, people whom you have slighted or avoided or treated less considerately than others because they were different superficially, and you were ashamed to be identified with them.  Have you not been glad that you are not more __ than you are?  Grateful that you are not _?" My anger and hate against the __ melted.  I was no better than she was, nor worse for that matter...We were both guilty of the sin of self- regard, the pride and the exclusiveness by which we cut some people off from ourselves.

Wow...as a person who does not commune with the Western God this feels like a reflective conversation with Self.

I want to live this unity more fully everyday.  I want to be a good example in word and deed and I want to teach my child and those young souls near me.

What if....

What if we started, from birth, to teach our children how to identify similarity.  How to see and connect with common themes, common DNA, shared needs, shared views.  What if we started with how we are all connected then moved to the distinctions and the original.

Would we live in a different world?  A foundation of connection, connection to the energy that makes us all in the same place at the same time in our existence then and only then do we look and find the beauty in our differences.

Just thinking...

We need King David

I heard a song.  The People were the King and the King was the People.  If our leaders led as though we were all part of them, would our world be different?  If they led as though their service was to the whole of us wouldn't the divide that hurts us all be gone?  If our local, social, political and business leaders applied a heart of service wouldn't the differences in tactic be negotiated to the good of the group?